Lucifer, you old dog!

Thanks for all the success you’ve granted me and the lads, Luci. Must say we were surprised that you didn’t want our souls in return, just a chance to write a song together. But great!

Also delighted you sent your proposed new lyrics in the form of a demo cassette. Such a deep bass singing voice!

Before the band records, I wanted to check in about a couple of word choices.

At the intro, you use a bunch of interjections. There’s “Hey!” and “Look at me!” and “Devil time!” At one point, I think you yell, and I could have it wrong, “How are you?” Feels wordy. Maybe I could just yell “Yeow!” here and there?

Now the opening line, you have:

Please allow me to introduce myself.
I’m Satan. Hello there!

I wonder if that gives away the game a little bit early. Maybe just keep the first sentence?

Loving the “wealth and taste” bit. In terms of wanting to set up a riddle, the thing about being around with Jesus, I mean, that kind of narrows things down, age-wise? Puts us in the realm of immortals pretty fast. A lot of our fans are quite stoned, though, so maybe they won’t guess yet.

Digging the transition to Pontius Pilate. Smooth. Right now, your lyrics are:

Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Cause washing hands is important, you guys,
Stop those germs before it’s too late.

And then you abruptly stop the music and do a spoken word thing:

Really, to just be serious here for a moment,
I can’t emphasize hand washing enough
We all do it down here in Hell between crushing guys’ testicles
in our horrifying claw hands.

Just feels like a bit of a tangent? Germs (which you have in Hell?) aren’t really the focus of our song.

Okay, music starts back up—next verse:

And I went down to Georgia once
and I got into a fiddle contest there.
There was this kid Johnny,
and it’s actually a pretty funny story.

It DOES sound fascinating, and I want to hear all about it. I do wonder, though, if that’s a different song? We want to get our song on the radio so I’m watching the clock a bit.

Moving on. You have:

Stuck around St. Petersburg
when I saw it was a time for a change.
Bought a condo in Tampa instead.
Better vibe there across the bay.

I asked some of the lads, and there was a general consensus that Florida real estate doesn’t read as Satanic, at least not on the surface. Hey, I know: What about the Russian St. Petersburg? We can workshop ideas.

Gotta confess I’m on the fence about the Blitzkrieg part. Starts strong:

I rode a tank, held a general’s rank
when the Blitzkrieg raged,
and the bodies stank.

Then I think we get diverted again with:

My tank helmet needed holes cut out
to fit my little devil horns.

I really hate to mention this, but that doesn’t make you very scary, nor does the next one:

My cape got stuck in the hatch door,
and also I don’t know how to drive a tank
so I kept steering into a tree.

From the crying on your recording, I can tell this is a painful memory for you, and maybe you’re just not ready to explore it in a song? Also, you forgot to rhyme.

So many of your lyrics are really top-notch, Prince of Lies, and in many cases they just need a little tightening. Take, for instance:

I shouted out, “Who killed the Kennedys?”
When after all, it was the CIA
along with the Freemasons, the Illuminati, the Cubans, Jackie Gleason,
and various high-profile Cadillac dealers.

Personally, I did not know ANY of that. Is our song the best place to reveal such sensitive information? Or is that just part of being evil? Again, so exciting to work together.

Let’s see. What else? Oh, I know:

Pleased to meet you,
hope you guess my name.
If you do, you win a prize.
I have these golden fiddles I give out,
they’re really great.

Again, let’s table the golden fiddle contest. Maybe take it to a different artist? Who isn’t us?

Alright, now we’re at the close:

Tell me, baby, what’s my name?
Tell me, honey, can you guess my name?
Tell me, baby, what’s my name?
I’ll tell you one time, you’re to blame.

See? Right there. Tell them just the one time. Less is more. Because the next bit you have is a little labored:

Do you get it? YOU’RE the Devil!
You did all these things! YOU’RE to blame!
Oh, I helped for sure! Cause I’m the REAL Devil!
But it’s on you! You’re like assistant devils!
It’s not an official job title! Don’t use it on a resume!
There’s no uniform! But you know what, you could make one!

Love love love the creativity, but you feel it kind of getting in the weeds, right? Like a tank driving into a tree. Haha. Oh, I should not have made that joke. I’m so sorry.

Okay! We’re making real progress here.

Love,
Mick

Mark Zuckerberg is not pleased that his investment in AI hasn’t led to the levels of mass unemployment he had hoped for. Or for people to really use it for much work related at all.

As Reuters reports, Zuckerberg admitted during a town hall last week that AI agents in particular aren’t progressing as fast as he anticipated, a devastating revelation following enormous layoffs that wiped out thousands of roles at the company.

The “trajectory of the agentic development over at least the last four months hasn’t really accelerated in the way that we expected,” he said according to a recording obtained by Reuters.

The reorganization effort’s timing was miscalculated and the job cuts were not “clean,” Zuckerberg said, while arguing that the plan had yet to “come to fruition.”

It’s only the latest indication of major chaos behind the scenes as the tech giant struggles to remain relevant in an AI race being fought out by its competitors. That’s despite Meta committing to spending a stunning $145 billion on AI infrastructure this year alone, a record sum that could’ve paid for an untold number of salaries.

It’s so sad when your “job cuts aren’t “clean.” A good clean firing, now that brings warmth to the black heart of any plutocrat.

Beyond Meta’s frantic AI efforts, company leaders also had to address yet another major sore point during last week’s town hall. Last month, Meta was forced to pause its controversial employee tracking program — which was designed to record everything workers do on their work computer to gather data for AI — after sensitive employee information was leaked internally.

Meta CTO Andrew Bosworth vowed that the program would be “opt-in” if it’s ever turned on again.

“For people who are comfortable, that’s great, they can contribute to this kind of great human ⁠survey,” he said at last week’s town hall. “To ​people who are not, it is not an issue.

This is my shocked face to discover that tech companies are dystopian employers.

The post The Techbro Goal of Unemploying Everyone Not Going As Planned appeared first on Lawyers, Guns & Money.

“Senator Mitch McConnell, Republican of Kentucky and the former majority leader, was hospitalized on June 14. Since then, his office has provided few updates about his condition. The scant official statements have led to speculation around Washington and efforts to piece together information on what happened.” — New York Times

Everyone knows that Democrats want to force the government into our private lives. They’ve spent decades shoving public schools and fire departments into communities that never asked for them. Now, Democrats think that Big Government should be monitoring the health of America’s senior senators.

Thankfully, Republicans are standing up for medical privacy and the sacred relationship between doctors and their political patients.

For weeks, Senator Mitch McConnell has been hospitalized for unknown reasons. The leftist media wants you to believe that, improbably, the eighty-four-year-old had a heart attack, but regardless, that should be between McConnell, his doctor, and his wife (once she can fit him into her schedule). Yet after Representative Thomas Kean Jr. spent four months seeking medical care without disclosing any details to his constituents, Democrats have decided that it’s a crime to keep your health and well-being private.

Obviously, this is a complete violation of American medical norms. Since when is it anyone’s business whether their elected officials are dead?

It goes without saying that Mitch McConnell is very healthy. Sure, he’s had multiple debilitating falls since 2023, and yes, sometimes his hands look like he gave Grimace a colonoscopy. But these are everyday health problems, no different than the common cold. Who among us hasn’t frozen into a soulless gaze mid-speech during multiple public addresses?

But even if Senator McConnell did have a health emergency, the leftists have no right to come between him and his doctor. There are some lines you just don’t cross, and every American deserves the right to make decisions over their own health in accordance with their loved ones and medical professionals they trust. No exceptions.

Of course, the Republican Party understands that there are some exceptions. With wokeness on the rise, it’s dangerous to let just anyone make decisions about the bodies of America’s women and children, especially America’s women and children. Plus, someone has to speak up for the voiceless—like the unborn, or brain-dead former majority leaders. It’s the only way to defend the sanctity of life, which begins at conception and ends after the cutoff for a special election has passed.

We all know the real reason that Democrats are taking medical rights away from the likes of Mitch McConnell and Tom Kean: They’re white men. Liberals are more than happy to let women talk to doctors without any supervision and give trans people “gender-affirming care” so they can “be happy.” But when it comes to a couple of straight white guys who represent more than five million people, apparently every heart attack is the business of the American public.

This is just a sign of what’s to come if the leftists win in November. They’ll weaponize the government to investigate President Trump’s alleged cognitive decline. They would even replace his presidential portrait with something to indicate his senility in office. They would do all of this, even though President Trump can name every animal in the jungle—including the hard ones.

If you think the Democratic war on health stops with interrogating powerless politicians over their unexplained absences, think again. Without the right to access the care they need, kids will suffer. Medical records will be targeted. Women seeking urgent care will needlessly die or go to jail. When extremist political ideologies trump health-care decisions, no American is safe.

That’s why Republicans are committed to ensuring that heroes like Mitch McConnell can continue to vote against the erosion of our medical rights until his dying breath—and, God willing, long after that too.

I am not saying this to take any position in the Michigan Senate primary — the candidate I most liked from afar dropped out and I am happy to defer to Michigan voters about the other two — and I don’t mind a little harmless pandering. But this is really not harmless:

• The larger idea that you can fund a Scandinavian-style welfare state by only taxing BILLIONAIRES is a dangerous lie that fundamentally plays into Republican anti-tax tropes. The kind of safety net El-Sayed wants — which includes universal public health insurance more ambitious than Canada’s — requires higher taxes not only on the wealthy but on the middle class.
• Current tax levels aren’t enough to properly sustain even the relatively modest social welfare commitments of the US right now.
• Of all the groups to exempt from tax increases, seniors are the least deserving — this is flat-out upward wealth redistribution on balance. Moreover, providing incentives for seniors to stay in houses that could be used to house young families instead of downsizing is insanely bad housing policy.
• It’s the least important point, but to me there’s something particularly amusingly unserious about “just tax the billionaires” as a universal solvent in the context of local property taxes. Can’t fund schools or police because your property tax base is shrinking? Just tax every billionaire living in Flint or Saginaw! Problem solved!

This is pernicious, reactionary bullshit, and if he’s the nominee I hope someone can convince him to cut it out.

The post The slopulist tendency in American politics appeared first on Lawyers, Guns & Money.

"President Donald Trump has posted what appears to be a doctored image of a large, golden eagle attached to the White House's Truman Balcony on social media—the latest in a series of altered or AI-generated images the president has shared in recent months...

According to CNN, the image has details in its metadata that indicate it was created with Google AI.

The outlet also noted that the image did not appear to be real because of differences between the railings in the picture and the real-life Truman Balcony.

The shield in the image also has 11 stars, whereas the traditional version has 13 to reflect the 13 states at the time the United States was founded."

The original digital artist may have used 11 stars to represent the 11 states in the Confederacy.